Released March 5, 2010
It is not often that I scoff at something Tim Burton makes although I am starting to understand that he JUST might have a bit too much love for Johnny Depp (Sweeny Todd, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). Once again, Burton has recreated one of my childhood favorite films and after letting him get away with making Wonka more creepy than needed - he has done something quite strange with my Alice. Do not get me wrong - there is nothing harder to do than re-create a film/book that was such a timeless hit. But Tim Burton is far from Lewis Carroll or Roald Dahl and it showed (although he probably didn't have much input in the writing of this film, watch me as I blame him for it for about the next 3.5 paragraphs).
Alice In Wonderland will immediately throw the average viewer off their kilter because it is not Alice In Wonderland (tricky, I know). Let me explain... This film is not just a retelling and reanimation of the original Disney great that we all have come to know and love. It is a retelling of the (now) 19-year-old Alice who is having her second (or third/fourth/fifth) visit to the ever looming Wonderland (Alice, clearly, is a bit off her rocker). So although in this film you get tea with the Mad Hatter, fights with the Queen of Hearts and smoke sessions with the Caterpillar - everything seems a bit off, a bit more violent and a bit more three-dimensional (if you aren't wasting your money on 2D boredom).
I hope it does not seem that I was let down in this movie because I couldn't sing along to "Painting the Roses Red" but more because it was just not a very good retelling. I was told this was actually based off some poem Lewis Carroll wrote after Alice and Looking Glass about Alice going back to Wonderland again as a young adult. And if that is the case - can we at least rename this movie something more 2010ish? Like ALICE or WONDERLAND or MAD HATTER (because the Mad Hatter in this film is the ultimate hero and even overshadows the lovely Alice... Burton hearts JDepp). Whatever the poem was that lead to this update of Alice In Wonderland is kind of lame and includes swords and gives the caterpillar a new name - Absolem. Besides that, once again Helena Bonham Carter (who plays The Red Queen, not the Queen of Hearts) gets a monster roll in a Burton film as she is his Life Partner and father of her children and yes, she still sucks.
And I will wrap up as I usually do after seeing a movie made for kids with my usual - good god I can't believe they expect kids to see this movie. The original Alice freaked me out a bit as a kid. This would have made me piss my pants. Parent's beware: Your kid will hate this movie and so will you.
Oh yah, the graphics as with all these new 3D masterpieces was amazing. And the film made about $115 million in the first weekend in the box office. Clearly I did not get the memo out soon enough that this movie blew. Because than it would have made $114,999,990 million because my mom probably wouldn't have gone to see it.
2 out of 4
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