Film Review -- 21 (PG-13)

Directed by Robert Luketic
Relativity Media / Michael De Luca Productions
Released March 28, 2008

So I got the unique chance to see this film a bit ahead of time. Since I am a Boston University student and for the majority of the last spring the producers used our campus to film, they are now giving back by way of free screenings. With my free popcorn and small drink, I was in a pleasant mood (although I had been a jerk all day for some reason) and went into this film with a clear head.

And then the film started and without fail, I was back to my crabby mood watching a bad movie. Literally within the first 20 minutes of the film there was no doubt in my mind that I was not going to like the movie. I was also annoyed by all the other students in the theater who were giggling and chatting every single time a scene in the film was on our campus. Just because a film is made on our campus does not mean we are now famous. Especially since every character in the film sports an MIT shirt, hat, bag or pendant.

Forget the audience, back to the film. Everything seemed to be right in the thought process for this movie except one thing -- just because you are basing a movie of a book based on an interesting story in reality, it does not mean you need to hire two of the crappiest screen writers ever (Peter Steinfeld & Allan Loeb) to try and adapt it to film. The opening sequence? Horrible voice over narration. First scene of dialogue? Completely awkward and unbelievable. This is going to be a long two hours and three minutes (I check on my iPhone within 15 minutes).

If you have not already seen a trailer for this movie you are lucky. Literally run out of the room if you are watching the Celtics beat the Mavericks tonight on TNT if it comes on because the trailer and the premise is all this film has to offer. There is no character depth what so ever. All the sudden you will find Jill Taylor (Kate Bosworth) making out with main character Ben Cambell (Jim Sturgess aka WHO?) for no real reason besides they are just all soooo smart. Meanwhile Kevin Spacey will do everything he can to make this movie badass but the PG-13 rating makes it F'ing weak. Oh yea, Laurence Fisburne is in it and he is somewhat bad ass. He is like a half-ass-bad-ass.

Well if you do read this review and still go see the movie, make sure you know the only significant work that director Robert Luketic has done is Legally Blonde and you will understand fully why it sucks so hard. The guy has some sort of Kate Bosworth fetish, too (she did look pretty goood though. They did a good job of hiding her gaseous, anorexic bootydoo). The cinematography was actually pretty well done and it was nice to see Boston in film. But next time Hollywood, bring your A-list directors and writers to town. Where the hell is Scorcese?

1.5 out of 4

Film Review -- Rambo (R)

Directed by Sylvester Stallone
Rouge Marble/Nu Image Films
Released January 25, 2008

Luckily for last months Oscar winners John Rambo aka Rambo 4 aka Rambo IV: Pearl of the Cobra was not released until after the 2007 deadline. Sly Stallone triumphantly returns to the screen to play the simple, barbaric and nostalgic character John Rambo. Stallone is no stranger to playing roles created a quarter of a century ago (Rocky Balboa aka Rocky VI in 2006) and his aging is hardly noticeable thanks to countless cycles of designer steroids combined with plastic surgery. Today Stallone is still a major action star thanks to his willingness to play roles from the Regan administration to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Hollywood hiatus. The Rock is the closest thing we have to mega-action hero today and he is simply too good of an actor (trained by the astute WWF) to play the roles that Sly and Arnold did.

As I watched Rambo IV for the first time I was excited to see who the 21st-Century John Rambo was and I wondered what a twenty year break would do to such a complex character. When I read in the opening credit sequence that Stallone co-wrote and directed this fine film, a comforting feeling came over my mind and body. Remembering First Blood (1982) aka Rambo which is a great movie, First Blood Part II aka Rambo 2 which is a typical awful 80’s action piece of crap and then Rambo: First Blood Part III which is possibly one of the worst action movies ever; I was pleasantly surprised to find myself in awe of Rambo IV: Pearl of the Cobra. This is a well done, semi-realistic film that kept me on the edge of my seat while consistently blurting out “Holy…” and other assorted exclamations.

The plot is simple. The film begins with a montage of graphic footage of Burmese soldiers abusing and murdering people. Next we witness John Rambo in Thailand catching snakes (Cobras) and selling them to a Thai amusement park with snake charmers. Rambo also demonstrates bow-fishing and sharing as he gives local Buddhist’s fish he caught. Just up the river is war-torn Burma where the military in power is ravishing the country attempting to annihilate the Karin people (a minority). When American missionaries are captured by the Burmese military, Rambo escorts mercenaries to Burma to rescue them. The priceless quote that defines the movie is, “When you’re pushed, killing is as easy as breathing.”

Rambo introduces himself as “John” and the mercenaries refer to him as “boat man”. I think it is ironic and interesting that the name Rambo is not present in the script. If you like action movies then do not miss Rambo IV! It is a return to the gory glory days of human flesh being torn apart and more gunfire than words. If you miss the 80’s/90’s senseless violence and the lack of plot movies this is for you. The happy ending is great because it leaves enough of an opening for a fifth part of the First Blood series. My only question is whether John Rambo will be freeing his fellow elderly people from abusive orderlies at a nursing home or organizing violent protests against AARP and Social Security organizations in Rambo V.

4 out of 4
(Review by tee diddee)